Jewels 2023

Me ’n Dad sit inside, he’s nearing his 102nd birthday, I’ve just turned 38. Dad: I think that’s right. Me: What’s right? Dad: That I’ve spent my whole life trying to find my balance. (pause) Me: Well how’d it go? Dad: What? Me: (louder) HOW’S IT GOING? (sound of mom cackling) Dad: Well I think I’m getting there. I think to myself, ‘There it is’ (in reference to the Jewels of Elul piece you are currently reading) and Dad gets up slowly after announcing he has to use the bathroom. I sit and plunk a guitar. Sound of his walker

Rabbi Simcha Bunim, the 18th century Hasidic master, taught that every person should hold two pieces of paper in each of two pockets. In one pocket the paper should say: “I am only dust and ashes.” The other declares: “For my sake was the world created.” This juxtaposition of humility and gratitude for the glory of Creation exemplifies what my Rav, Chaim Seidler-Feller, taught me to embrace. Judaism forces us to hold seemingly contradictory concepts in tension, but rather than fight this, I welcome dedicating my life to the notion that we must live with the acknowledgment that we are

I want to lose every debate. My favorite moments in life are when someone shows me a new perspective — a way of thinking I had never considered. Ideally, it’s something I opposed, but they help me understand why it works for them. The sex worker explains why she loves her job. The Singaporean in the three-piece-suit explains why clothing is like the SMTP protocol. The Hindu explains why poverty doesn’t upset her. The Muslim explains why Islamic law is a perfect recipe for peace. The hedonist justifies her partying, and tells me the most heart-warming explanation for her ugly

As a Catholic, I live by three virtues: faith, hope, and love. Faith in God. Hope in the promises of Jesus. And love as the motive for my actions. Jesus taught that all three were vital, but love is the most important of all, the summary of God’s law for us. He shared this belief with the rabbis of Israel. The great Hillel said: “What is distasteful to yourself, do not do to your neighbor; that is the whole law, the rest is commentary.” Jesus said the same thing: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

The three legs that the world and I stand on: Torah (a frame to understand our universe), Avoda (reflecting deeply and work), and Gmilut Hassidim (treating others kindly) The Torah of seeing the divine spark in each person Striving for exchanges that allow each person to connect with that spark Knowing that the inability to see or connect with their holy essence Could lead to violence, humiliation, invisibility, marginality, and dehumanization Seeing and joining with each other’s light generates more light, love, and oneness The Avoda of introspection, changing practices in places and times, that lift us out of oppression

From the start, I’ve been pursuing two passions: art and design, and it has always been about finding a balance between these two. Art is a way for me to express myself, reflect on my feelings, and communicate my emotions. Design on the other hand is about serving others, creating products that help people express themselves, reflect, communicate, and project their feelings and emotions. Finding a balance between these two is finding an equilibrium between the two hemispheres of the brain, utilizing and relying on both equally – the “whole brain approach.” The big question of course is how, and

I don’t have to agree with someone on everything in order to work together on a specific problem. I focus on what needs to be accomplished, how it can get done, and on building personal relationships. Then, if we can agree that a problem needs to be tackled, I work to bring in the voices and wisdom of the people who are being directly affected by that problem. The year I was elected to Congress was the year of the Tea Party Republican wave and I was one of only nine incoming freshman Democrats along with 65 Republicans. Among other

As an actor, when stepping into a new role we often ask “What’s My Motivation?” as a way to discover what’s truly at the heart of why a character does what it does. Recent world events have caused me to ask that question of myself, and I came to the conclusion that I’m mainly motivated by the thought of seeing other people prosper. It was the thought of bringing joy to other people that made me become an actor, and now I even create jewelry to see other people shine. I really LOVE the thought of you being happy, having

Gratitude is the “canary in the coal mine” of my spiritual life, which is inextricably interwoven with my family life and sometimes, more than I’d like to admit, with my work life as well. And when my canary is singing and I find myself gliding on the jet-stream of life, there is a good chance you will also find me pausing to feel the sunlight on my face and appreciate the complex beauty of the road I tread, thinking of all the kindness and generosity of those who helped me get to that place in life and probably on the

I learned about balance while tuning my violin. After hours of practice, changes in temperature and humidity, and day to day wear and tear, the strings stretch and contract and need realignment. With thumb and forefinger, I apply firm but gentle pressure, and rotate the tuning peg up and down; intentionally ringing the string out of tune–too flat, then too sharp, dancing on either side of the desired pitch, feeling for the boundaries of ‘in tune.’ I wiggle the peg back and forth until somewhere along the route between sharp and flat, I hit the sweet spot. I can feel

I was born a three. I am a three. I will forever be a three. For you see, I am a triplet. Being a triplet for now almost 33 years, I have learned and embraced three key values. Believe in and embrace spiritual connection in personal relationships. Our parents tell the story that, as a young child, I would start to cry for no apparent reason. When asked why I was upset, I would insist that something was wrong with one of my triplet siblings. Soon thereafter, we’d learn that one of them had been injured or was unwell. We

My first visit to Sudan’s Darfur region during the genocide there changed me. It’s an arid landscape with few sources of water, so the Janjaweed militia would wait by wells. If male villagers arrived to get water, the Janjaweed would shoot them. If women showed up, the Janjaweed would rape them. But sometimes, they would let the children fetch water. So I would wait with families as they hid and sent their 10- or 11-year-old children miles across the desert with donkeys to fetch water from the wells, not knowing if they would ever see their children again. It was

A day of rest each week 15 years ago, my father was diagnosed with brain cancer and given nine months to live and I found out I was pregnant. That nine month period felt like life was grabbing me by the shoulders, looking me in the eye and saying “focus on what matters.” When he died and my daughter was born within days, my husband and two daughters started our practice of what we call “Tech Shabbat.” No screens from Friday night to Saturday night for Shabbat. It is literally the most profound practice I have ever done. It brings

Vince Lombardi, the great Green Bay Packers legendary football coach once said, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” Recently I chose to become homeless for 100 hours on the streets of Los Angeles. The first night, it was pouring rain, 38 degrees and I was desperately trying to sleep under a freeway overpass lying on dirt. Sleep eluded me. At about 4 a.m., after doing jumping jacks all night to stay warm, I told my partner, who was part of the “empathy encounter,” that I was tapping out. No sleep and cold temperatures destroyed my will to fight on. Fatigue

If the proverbial fire broke out in my house, what items would I rush to save? Answer: These Three Things: my Hebrew Bible, my copy of the U.S. Constitution, and Carl Sandburg’s Abraham Lincoln. Why? Because these documents embody the values and ideals that have animated my life: empathy, democracy, and racial justice. My ethical values are drawn mostly from the Hebrew Bible. For example, the injunction to love your neighbor, especially the stranger, is emphasized repeatedly in the Bible. This is fundamentally a plea for empathy: understand the needs and interests of others and, following the Native American proverb,

Finding balance has meant different things to me at different stages in my life. I remember my father’s words: “Dom, the world is yours, be the warrior that you are my beautiful daughter, just know that no one is better than you, keep humility, and go kick some ass.” When I was younger, the idea of balance felt so alien. I wanted to find myself in the world. I moved to America, and landed in San Francisco, unable to speak the language, yet I knew nothing would stop my curiosity and desire to discover myself. At that time, balance would

As a Black and Jewish woman, I have felt a strong calling to serve the people in my community. This past year I became a full time content creator and quickly learned that doing work in the public eye is not for the faint of heart. Let’s be real: the internet is a complicated space. It can simultaneously be a beautiful hub for connection, while also serving as an unforgiving abyss of hatred. I have been thinking a lot about to how to build, sustain, and expand healthy community. What does it look like to create robust systems of connection

Balance supposes there exits an equilibrium that is ideal to maintain a desired state of being. I am skeptical that balance is a worthy goal. At each moment of my journey in life, there is always too much or too little of “X” or “Y”. That is as it should be for living life to the fullest. I nourish myself in the richness of the struggles I choose to be part of – and in that, I find the payoff that others find in achieving balance. David Ambroz is an author and a national poverty and child welfare expert and

I grew up in the South, raised by an amazing woman who loved unconditionally. She truly was a renaissance woman. While I was growing up, she painted, baked, and hosted large family gatherings to celebrate holidays and milestones. When I was 13, she entered the workforce and worked long hours. Yet, I always remember her being there for me and those she cared about. She made it all look easy, but I came to find out how difficult it was. My journey was different. I focused on my career and moved to the amazing city of Los Angeles to pursue

“On three things the world stands, on Torah – learning, on Avodah – divine service, on Gmilut Hasadim – acts of kindness.” This ancient teaching of Shimon the Righteous has accompanied my life these past 36 years, inspiring me with a frame of being. Torah – learning has filled my life with profound meaning, but the idea of inquiry, of learning consciousness that accompanies us wherever we go, when we sit, and when we sleep, is what I’m talking about. Holding onto the idea of Torah, of learning, that there is still something else to learn and discover about myself,

For as long as I can remember, my instinct has been to seek balance. My parents were both very balanced people and carefully guided and molded me to be a well-balanced person. Moderation in all things was their motto, and I grew up thinking that moderation was the key to success and self-preservation. As a devoted student and fan of music, I soon realized that a lot of great music was created by immoderate, or unbalanced people. I also realized that my talents were more suited to interpreting music than creating it. So I found work in writing about music,

My Iraqi Jewish grandmother’s advice was always to go back to the start, al-Bidaya. Whenever you are lost, do that. Jews should do that too, as we’ve become entangled in unproductive debates about our place in the racial hierarchy in America and who is “Jewish enough.” We’ve lost sight of our roots. Let’s go back to the beginning. The Jewish story dates back to 1500 BCE, with the earliest Jews along the Mediterranean, Nile, and Mesopotamia. We built ancient Israelite kingdoms, a convergence of civilizations. During the Second Temple era, Jews dedicated themselves to worship in Jerusalem. But we’ve forgotten

Over my last six decades of activism, I have attempted to reach others to work together in creating a more loving, vibrant, and healthy planet. My spirituality has taught me that I am created to simply help other people. My concept of ‘sin’ is the failure to use individual ‘gifts’ within oneself to give voice to those who are marginalized and create lasting change. To that end I have held three principles that have enabled me to do that more effectively: The purpose of a movement is not to prove you are right, but to change minds and invite them

HONESTY The first word that comes to mind is truth, but truth is elusive. Honesty is more trustworthy than truth, because truth is silent while honesty is specific. To be specific is to be present with myself. Truth is a silent response to my honesty. Being true is different than knowing the truth. No one knows the truth because truth exists beyond thought. To be true is to include every thought. (especially the petty ones) and feel the truth touching me through them. I think the truth is always reaching for me, but my reaching obscures it. To be in

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina in 2005, I led a number of college students on Jewish service learning trips to the Gulf Coast. Inevitably, participants would complain about our practice of stopping work for Shabbat. “We only have a week here,” they would say. “We could get so much more done with one more day.” In the conversations that ensued, we interrogated these assumptions. “How much more could we, as inexperienced volunteers, contribute in one more day? Do we only have a week, or is this an investment in a lifetime of service?” Shabbat acts as a bulwark against

Is it weird that when I hear the word “balance,” my mind goes directly to “work/life?” As if there are precisely two components of balance: work, and life…life, and work. And the balance we seek will come from properly weighing them. Work, and life. Life, and work. This is probably why I’m single. Finding balance sounds hard. Like an equation. I’ve had a bit more luck finding presence. And thinking back on those times in my 42 years when I’ve felt the most present, they’ve come when I haven’t been trying to find anything. They’ve come when I’ve been so

My husband and I grew up rigidly Orthodox with a dose of chasidus. When we had our first child, we were determined to redefine what it meant for us to be Jewish, mentally healthy, and a light to the people around us. We wanted to raise them to be Jewish leaders, not mechanical followers. While we immensely benefited from our upbringings and believe in the value of our faith, commandments, and tradition, we believed that we could do more to instill values in our children. We verbalize them to our children with intentionality. We used to think our children would

I recently got an Oura ring, a device that monitors your sleep and heart rate. After a few weeks, it reported that my heart rate remains elevated for an abnormally long time after I fall asleep, a symptom of “chronic stress.” Not surprising. I’ve been sprinting, flat out, since my co-founder and I started this company. In the beginning, we’d hunch over a long roll of butcher paper in my apartment and sketch out ideas. It felt like a group project. Two girls in their sweatpants. But once the idea started working, the adrenaline started. We raised money, hired a

A few years ago, I traveled, as I have done every year, to my natal oasis Lamhamid in Southern Morocco’s Anti-Atlas Mountains, accompanied by my second-grade daughter. Her childhood curiosity questioned the absence of homeless people in our poor village, in contrast to affluent Los Angeles where we currently reside. The desert nurtures community, I told her – we all need each other. Growing up, I experienced community as an ethic of care: families shared dates and tea while Muslims watched over the Jewish cemeteries of their erstwhile neighbors. As I left my oasis and moved across the world, I

How to keep balance when so much life is fired at us point blank? The social media messages, the bills and obligations, the people demanding our attention and craving our love, all of it crowds in on us and we stand solitary in this world amidst a thousand pushes and pulls. During those blessed moments when we retreat to reclaim some calm, we are sure to return to an even greater volume of noise and necessity. In these pages you will find wise reflections, reminding us that we are flawed, partial beings. We are not built to be “completists” –

I have been producing the Jewels of Elul for over two decades. That’s a long time and a ton of inspiration! The Jewels have become a rare constant in my busy schedule and something I look forward to every year. They help me to focus, meet interesting people, and share remarkable stories. “Each of the Jewels in this book offers you the opportunity to stretch and grow. Some will strike you immediately, while others you will dismiss. Some will move you to think, and others to act. It is my sincere hope that you’ll find at least one Jewel that