Jewels 2012

Thank you for being a part of our 8th year of Jewels of Elul. I hope that you found the Jewels from the past 29 days to be mind and heart opening. We’d love to hear your feedback. I extend my huge thanks to all of the people who made the Jewels project come to fruition -the writers, artists, editors, printers, web masters, packagers and promoters. Thank you. I would also like to encourage you to “pray it forward” and support the work of Vista Del Mar this year’s beneficiary with a contribution. They do great work and could benefit from our help.

What makes us different from or better than God’s other creatures? A cheetah is faster, a butterfly more beautiful, and a lion mightier by far. Scientists tell us that dolphins can laugh, elephants can exhibit altruism, and malamutes can love. Animals procreate and they protect; they grow ill and they die. But we alone know that we will do so. We exist, with the sure knowledge that one day, we will not. And yet we build bridges, read books, half-listen at cocktail parties, decide between puce and magenta, and cultivate flowers. Years from now, will anyone care what I was

In my early twenties, I read an interview with Lillian Hellman. Midway through, Hellman became irate, brandishing her cane in the interviewer’s face. I thought: “I can’t wait until I’m old.” As it turned out, I didn’t wait long. In my mid-forties, I began a slow but relentless decline, including brain fog, fatigue, a weakened immune system, and osteoarthritis. Absent a diagnosis, I could only think: “I’m catapulting into old age faster than anyone in recorded history.” By the time things had advanced enough for me to have a cane – but no energy to brandish it – I was

ELUL – the alliteration of this beautiful word evokes love. The word is composed of the first letters of the phrase from the biblical Song of Songs “ani l’dodi v’ani lo. I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Love is Elul’s theme and is the force that lets us grow older with wisdom and compassion. The spiritual work of aging is to cultivate our capacity to give and receive love by going within to understand our strengths and purpose and reaching out to nurture and heal relationships that will form the fabric that supports, inspires and comforts us

Judaism is all about life – love of life, reverence for life, building new life. But life also brings death. The pessimist says, “You begin dying the moment you are born,” not only referring to the steady decline of our own lives but also the universe around us. We consume resources to clothe, feed, educate, and protect; we use up animals, plants, water and air as we spiral along the continuum from birth to death. Yet Judaism teaches a more powerful lesson about life: “Therefore choose life.” Deut. 30:15. Although God is the giver of life, human beings have great

As a physician and scientist, I have seen remarkable aging. The patients whom I care for, often with severe physical disabilities, experience a process termed “accelerated aging.” This means that some of the “normal” declines in body organ function that we see associated with age occur earlier than anticipated. Unfortunately, the result is a shorter lifespan for these individuals. I have seen a number of people, though, who have outlived expectations — some by years and a few by decades. I want to learn from these people so that I can discover the Art of Aging, live it myself, and share

I don’t really like to think about growing older, I like being 9. If I get older I will be like my grandpa and become slow. You also are not able to see that well and can’t do or build the things you like. I get to do all the things my friends do. When you are a kid you get to ride bikes, scooters, play with toys and use your imagination. You don’t have to go to work or do all the things old people do. I can keep working on my arcade and making it more creative. When

My whole life I have been drawn to elders. From grandparents in New York and San Francisco, to great aunts and uncles around America and the world — my youth and early adulthood overflowed with the stories, convictions, artistic expression, and unquestioned love and interest from this previous generation. There were weeks spent in Virginia with a great aunt and uncle who had bought an abandoned church and filled it with Mordi’s art, huge canvases depicting biblical and natural scenes, weeks near Lake Constance with my great aunt who was a communist spy in World War II, and the civil

At my high school prom many decades ago, the organizers chose Billy Joel’s “Just The Way You Are” as the theme. I thought it was the most ridiculous choice, and I voiced it loudly. Why wouldn’t we change? Mention high school to any adult and very few would want to go back. Now with many years between that time and this moment, I have reached a point where I see more wisdom in the desire to stay just the way we are. As the years pile on, life’s travails, challenges, and triumphs coat us with experiences. The layers add on

I have gained perspective on the art of aging over the last decade of my 74 years. The gift of perspective is, in a word, “gratitude”- the conceit that my cup is half full, and each day more and more so. Years ago, my life was filled with excitement, wonderment and adventure, but also beset with varying degrees of anxiety about what tomorrow might bring. Now, I truly pass my days without such concern, and with few lapses, I feel grateful for what I have, for those I love, for work that satisfies – and, happily, the focus of my life

We live in especially youth-centric times when the “Art of Aging” most often refers to the kind of superficial rejuvenation found at the cosmetics counter or surgeon’s office. Then there’s my mother, Edna Shalala. At a spirited 100-years-old, she discovered long ago that the true fountain of youth resides within. My mother’s longevity can certainly be attributed to eating well, taking care of herself, and exercising. She was a nationally ranked tennis player and remained active in the sport, competing in the senior circuit until she was 85. Even as a nonagenarian she enthusiastically participated in water exercises, yoga, and occasional

Thanks to advances in modern medicine and lifestyle, most Americans will survive the diseases that once killed us swiftly and predictably—infections, childbirth, cancer, heart disease—and will instead live out our final years plagued by the multiple chronic conditions associated with aging. Half of us who make it to 85 will suffer from dementia and virtually all will have an array of illnesses that will make it hard for us to live on our own, and harder still for our families to provide the care we will need. The Talmud tells the story of two rabbis who visited each other when they were

In a dilapidated log cabin, near a cornfield, there lived an old farmer. He had lived in the same place for so long that he attracted a lot of attention from passersby. Some believed his age to be 110, yet he maintained a youthful disposition and a sparkling sense of humor. Once a tourist stopped and asked: “Have you lived here all your life?” With a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye, the farmer replied without hesitation: “Not yet.” This story always reminds me of my mother. She is 97-years-old. Despite her infirmities and the challenges

Write a letter. Address it to those you love – your spouse, your children and grandchildren, your friends. Put into this letter everything life has taught you: What you learned from childhood, from growing up, from your education. What you learned from marriage and raising children. What you learned from work, from your triumphs and successes in the world, from your failures and disappointments. What you learned from the death of loved ones, and the path of mourning. What is the meaning, the lesson, the wisdom of your life? What is your message? Do this for three reasons: Do it for

I have for many years wondered whether, as I grow old, I should fight against it or gracefully and passively accept it. The poet Dylan Thomas memorably wrote, “Do not go gentle into the good night…Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” It is not clear whether the night he referred to was death, which I suspect it was, but it could just as well and appropriately refer to aging. Either way it is a popular poem because it so sharply presents one clear narrative about accepting our fate. But there is another popular and clear narrative. Another poet, Robert

My beautiful, wonderful grandmother was, in the end, in a cancer existence. The illness was eating her inside. She lost her ability to speak to others, to walk, to hold up her body, to chew food. Being so helpless, she was graced with caretakers who were kind, hardworking, and loving. Relatives visited her often. She did the best she could to still be a loving person. I watched my mom sit near her bed and hold her hand. My grandmother swung their hands together. She smiled, and smiled, and smiled. Who would want to smile in her situation? She smiled

Whatever controls my genetic material, I’m happy to be enjoying the dessert course of life, and my pressures are self-chosen. I realize more than ever that time is sacred and should be spent thoughtfully and judiciously. Time is all we have, albeit never knowing how much, and I try with a little self- management to be totally receptive to life without conditions. On reflection, I have found one immutable value independent of all other ever-changing market values. You serve, you give and you care about others. This caring binds us to those whom we serve in a mutually beneficent and

My son was nestled in my lap last night, slumbering at last, while I trolled the Internet for entertainment. Somewhere in a moment between status updates on Facebook and searching for shirts on oldnavy.com, I felt a gentle nudge on my arm. I looked down, and he was awake, his eyes as round and bright as twin moons shining in the pearly glow of the laptop screen. His mouth bent and stretched into a smile, and he poked me again. “Hey Mama, cyberspace can wait.” “But there’s a really good sale that ends tomorrow, and if I want to save

Recently I had a conversation with someone who said to me, “You wrote a very beautiful book; it’s very uplifting and encouraging. However, isn’t there a dark side to aging?” And he is right, there is a more somber side. I find myself now in my December days. In my book I spent a lot of time on October, becoming an elder, and November, serving as an elder. I was much more skimpy on December. The reason is clear: I wasn’t there yet. Now I am. Now is one of the best periods of my life. I’m harvesting so much

The “art of aging” translates for me into the art of acceptance and gratitude. Considering the alternative to aging makes clear our only viable response. In “surrendering” to aging we are embracing life. And in embracing life we are able to celebrate our humble position in the grand scheme of nature. When I look out and see the beauty of nature, it allows me to experience my own beauty, but only with the discipline to move from the inner to the outer. Moving through the journey from the inside to the outside leaves me with the experience of focusing on others

More than a decade ago, the equally celebrated and despised bioethicist Leon Kass published “L’Chaim and Its Limits: Why Not Immortality?”, a passionate homage, couched in the Jewish tradition, to the idea that aging is good. But is that a legitimate interpretation? In the Talmud, Satan, Yezer Hara (the evil inclination) and Death are equated (Baba Batra, tav zain). Similarly, Maimonides – one of the greatest Jewish intellectual authorities, who was also a physician – highlighted the Biblical admonition, “When you build a new house, you should make a parapet for your roof so that you bring not bloodshed upon

Two years ago on my 79th birthday, I experienced two things. One was ‘feeling’ a very large hand placed between my shoulder blades, gently but firmly pushing me ‘through the air’. It reminded me of when I was eight or nine, sailing a dingy in the Balboa Bay. I remember, to this day, the way ‘the slight breeze’ felt on my face, shoulders, arms, and body. The other thing I experienced was seeing my life as if through a telescopic lens. Visually, your sight ‘backs up’ from the close up, while the image is moving away from you. There is

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Playing the trumpet since I was eight years old has given me the feeling, throughout my life and career, of being in the exact, present moment of my life. An ageless feeling comes to me when practicing, recording or performing. I believe that it is a myth that only certain people are creative. Over 40 years ago I found that painting and sculpting gave me the same energy that playing the trumpet and making music did. I say this because I find that people who have found

“Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.” -Eleanor Roosevelt As a five-year-old I thought life would be perfect if I could only wake up blonde and blue-eyed. Today I do not know why at this tender age I did not think life was already perfect. Time passed, I never changed the color of my hair, and I discovered the delights of education, particularly literature and the poetry of science. The pleasure of color and design vibrated in words, and even under my laboratory microscope. I discovered that my bohemian color combinations had

This is a conversation between two generations. Eli Brent is 86 and I am Noah Taubman, 24-years-old and his grandson. “I don’t want to be good at aging.” We both laugh. It doesn’t matter who said it, but we agree. We’re not necessarily pessimistic, but we each characteristically resort to humor to begin one of our particularly heavy conversations. Does aging have to be inherently bad? No, but Eli has already sensed my apprehension; we’d much rather be discussing the art of living. Eli says, “You can’t always choose the question. Living is the gift that allows us to enjoying aging.”

Old? You think I’m old? Well, maybe you’re right. Why, I remember walking into ‘shul’ on a Friday evening and finding people eager to “DAVEN.” Old? Why yes, I distinctly remember where I was when President Kennedy was shot: in gym – between Talmud and Social Studies at the Skokie Yeshiva. Heck, I remember Early Wynn and Rocky Colavito on the INDIANS. (Google it.) Why does temporal time interest us so much? Ok, I understand the concept of life coming to a close. But, in truth, our very existence is a miracle, a mathematical improbability. If we have lived to

Poppy is four years old. The only shelf in the cabinet she can reach is the one with the plastic Tupperware. She has started filling containers with water, snapping on lids, and placing them about the house. It is her new favorite game. One for Mama, one for Papa, one for Tessa, one for Ollie. Her hands can hold one at a time. Her dress is the color of marmalade, she chirps songs that have no words. When Poppy is twenty-five, she will follow a love to France. In the summer time she will make jars of cold tea, place

Age has been on my mind all my life. When I was a kid I had a giant shock of black hair that was like a helmet because it was stiff with a product called ‘Slickum’. To comb it, I had to dip my head in the sink and wash my hair every day. That’s the first time I can remember thinking, “What if this is the secret to a long life? Dipping your head in the sink every morning. How do we know?” Since then there have been hundreds of other odd activities – eating a Tootsie Roll just

Aging: a fearsome word in a youth-obsessed culture. The desired stage of life, youth, is depicted as threatened by the aging process. Granted; youthfulness, with its energy, its hope, its sense of the future, is a desirable quality of life, perhaps essential. But let’s not confine those qualities only to the young in years. Yes, the stages of youth and aging are irreconcilable; one precludes the other. However, the stage of aging and the qualities of youthfulness are quite a different matter. Not only can they co-exist, sometimes they actually do, each enhancing its counterpart. The proportion of past to

As we age, our brains are hardwired to reject change. We are conditioned to resist new challenges and remain within our comfort zones. However, growing older should not mean that we must exist within self-imposed boundaries. In the 1960s, President Eisenhower received the gift of a rare, white tiger named Mohini. For years, Mohini lived in the Washington Zoo and spent her days pacing back and forth in a 12-by-12 foot cage. Finally the zoo decided to build her a larger cage so Mohini could run, climb and explore. But when Mohini arrived at her new home, she didn’t rush

“An aged man is but a paltry thing, a tattered coat upon a stick, unless Soul clap its hands and sing…” So wrote Yeats in one of his most famous poems. The poet tells of the diminishing body. Because our physicality grows more tenuous and our frame more frail with age, we might consider our worth, our very being, as less than once it was. But – “Soul clap its hands and sing.” The point of being old is not to pretend to be young. Rather it is about the spirit of wise age, blessings that arise despite the pain and

A Note from Craig Dear Friends, Thank you for joining us on this 29 day Holy Journey. I am excited to share with you this year’s Jewels of Elul V.8 on the Art of Aging. While the month of Elul begins on Saturday evening, over the next two days you will receive a note from Rabbi David Wolpe and myself to help ease you into the trip! It’s not too late to invite your family, friends and colleagues to join you in receiving a daily Jewel. Below you will find some information about this years beneficiary organization, Vista Del Mar.