Jewels 2020

Like awakening after a long illness to find your health stole back in while you slept, your sorrow, in its time, will retreat, and the knowledge you carried all along will re-emerge, whole and cleansed. One day you will not thrash in the too-bright light, looking for a corner in which to close your eyes. One morning the weight will not be there beneath your eyelids, the first thing you wake to; it will not settle on your tongue like a lump of salt. And because you have stayed this long unrelenting, in the unrelenting world, you know that time,

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love… Washington Irving was an American short-story writer, essayist and biographer of the early 19th century.

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year. Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance. Listen! The wind is rising, and the air is wild with leaves, We have had our summer evenings, now for October eves! Humbert Wolfe was an Italian-born English poet and one of the most popular authors of the

Last year it took me 7 hours and 2 minutes to finish the Chicago Marathon. That’s 422 minutes. I could have watched 3 full length movies or listened to Born to Run 93 times on a continuous loop. The winner could have finished the race and flown back to London before I returned to Grant Park. I watched them sweep the streets and take down the mile markers but I finished. Each of the 45,471 runners that Sunday was very much alone in our grueling task and never alone at any point along the road. The runners’ battle was with

Write a letter. Address it to those you love. Put into this letter everything life has taught you: What you learned from childhood, your education. What you learned from marriage and raising children. What you learned from work, from your triumphs and from your failures. What you learned from the death of loved ones, and the path of mourning. What is the meaning, lesson, wisdom of your life? What’s your message? Do this for three reasons: Do it for yourself. You deserve to know what life has taught you. According to a Jewish tradition, each human soul carries into the

Each step of our journey leaves an indelible mark on our souls. The challenges you have been facing have forced you to grow in ways you might never have imagined. Before everything changed… Before the curveball rocked your world. Before your life veered unexpectedly towards an unknown destination. Before you became so weary that you weren’t sure you could take another step. Before you began to open your heart to possibility. Before you discovered that love makes the journey worthwhile. And now, you stand here: at the crossroads of your old life and the person you are becoming. Celebrate the

‘Tis a fearful thing to love what death can touch. A fearful thing to love, to hope, to dream, to be – to be, And oh, to lose. A thing for fools, this, And a holy thing, a holy thing to love. For your life has lived in me, your laugh once lifted me, your word was gift to me. To remember this brings painful joy. ‘Tis a human thing, love, a holy thing, to love what death has touched. Chaim Stern was a rabbi and political activist, acknowledged as one of the foremost liturgists of Reform Judaism.

There isn’t a right answer. There just isn’t. The game show where the bells ring and the points go up and the confetti falls because you got the answer is a lie. The preacher who would assure you of how to attain salvation is making it all up. The doctor who knows just how to fix what ails you will be sure of something else tomorrow. Every choice will wound someone, heal someone, build a wall and open a conversation. Things will always happen that you can’t foresee. But you have to choose. It’s all we have—that little rudder that

The great thing about the world of the spirit is that gravity doesn’t apply. Inertia can be overcome. Our secular culture teaches us to focus on ourselves when we have problems – whether through healthful things like self-help books and therapy, or through numbing things like comfort food, self-medication and complaining to friends. A teacher once shared with me a special tool for lifting oneself out of sadness and depression. It is a very Jewish way to lift yourself up, and it isn’t something you might expect to hear from a rabbi. He said to turn your focus away from

I’ve learned the difference between being purposeful about an issue and being self-righteous about it. I have been self-righteous about too many things in my life. This did not sustain my involvement in the issue, nor did it lead to a solution. I wound up, to borrow from Rumi, shedding more heat than light on the problem. When I find myself imagining how I will tell the tale of my involvement in a cause, chances are I am in danger of crossing into self-righteousness. When I am personally unresolved about how to tackle a particular issue, when I go to

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny Lao Tzu was an ancient Chinese philosopher and writer reputed to be the founder of philosophical Taoism.

On My Eventual Death… I Scientists say our sun will burn out in five billion years; all life on earth that ever was, gone. With this in mind it is my policy to not make long term plans or worry too much about my legacy. II Knowing my family’s history of heart failure, I ask my wife If I die young, and you remarry, which I would understand, would you agree to be buried next to me? I hope you have a happy life with the new guy; but I couldn’t imagine spending eternity under the ground without you. She

Let’s be honest. The world doesn’t always welcome us. Sometimes, it’s up to us to find our own way to welcome. I grew up in the heart of the ghetto during the Depression. Not the greatest welcome. But still I had choices. And I started to make some good ones. After all, there may have been gangsters living around me but mostly, there were good people. One was my father. Every day, he would say to me, “Once a task has just begun, never leave ’til it’s done. Be the labor great or small, do it well or not at

The instructor filled an empty jar with rocks. “Is it full?” Then he poured a pitcher of pebbles into the jar. “Full now?” Next he poured sand. “Full?” Finally he poured water. “Now it’s full.”“What do you learn from this?” One student answered, “No matter how busy you are, you can always fit in one more thing?” “No, the important thing is: you have to put the rocks in first. If you fill your jar first with the pebbles, sand or water, there will be no room for the rocks.” Put the rocks in first, those important things that keep

If I could tell you just the way things will unfold from day to day If I could make this go away How would it be? Take, for instance, your teary eye Make it go away Clouds above turn to clear blue sky Sunshine’s on its way If I could see what happens next To make the worst into the best If I could ace this wicked test How would it be? Sara Hallie Richardson is a singer/songwriter who performs and writes folk, indie, and electronic music. www.sarahallierichardson.com

The purpose of life is not to be happy at all. It is to be useful, to be honorable. It is to be compassionate. It is to matter, to have it make some difference that you lived. Leo Rosten was a Polish-born American author best known for his books on Yiddish.

Something precious is taken from us and we think of it as something we have lost, instead of something we have had. We remember how empty our lives are now, and tend to forget how full and rich they were before; we forget the many days and years of happiness we lived when the one we love was still with us. We thank God for our treasures when we have them, but cease giving thanks when they are fled. But God never gives; God only lends. So instead of murmuring because our precious things have been taken from us, let

Death ends a life, not a relationship. Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Mitchell Albom is an author, journalist, and musician who has sold over 39 million books worldwide. www.mitchalbom.com

“I’m sorry.” “No, it’s OK,” I start to say. / But it’s not. Because unless you’ve lost someone, you expect there to be a timeline: / But that’s bullshit. / Because missing her never goes away. / It changes, and you live with it, but it’s never OK. In the beginning, I couldn’t breathe, it was like drowning. Big angry wave after big angry wave crashed over me, knocked me over, spun me around, but you feel sunlight on your skin. And it’s almost OK again. / Until the water swells around you, and another wave bears down, and you’re

Smile, without a reason why. Love, as if you were a child. Smile, no matter what they tell you. Don’t listen to a word they say ‘cause life is beautiful that way. Tears, a tidal wave of tears. Light, that slowly disappears. Wait, before you close the curtain. There is still another game to play. And life is beautiful that way. Here with his eyes forevermore I will always be as close as you remember from before. Now that you’re out there on your own remember what is real and what we dream is love alone. Keep the laughter in

The measure of your blessing is the measure of your loss. We focus on the end of life, but each life is filled with days of accomplishment, beauty, wonder and love. When someone we love passes away, remember the blessing. If we could go back, we would choose to love all over again, even knowing it cannot last forever. David Wolpe is the Max Webb Senior Rabbi at Sinai Temple in Los Angeles, California. www.facebook.com/RabbiWolpe

Let your grief course through you Like a great, grand river. Its journey to the sea is long and winding Sometimes, the rapids. You are quite sure you will get lost. Drown. Sometimes, the water flows so slowly, you are sure you will be moored, forever. Carving caverns and cracks in the sandstone It will change you It will shape you Oh beautiful, brave soul Do not build a dam, Build a raft. Hold on, allow. For this is your sacred journey home A holy gift for the patient, openhearted. Aimee Gins­burg Bikel is an award winning Amer­i­can-Israeli writer, jour­nal­ist,

When we strip away our face of youth, when we no longer have a career we’re pursuing, when appearances are insignificant, when keeping life busy and full of tasks is not valued… who are we? Some learn earlier than others that only the ones we love are essential to life. We simply become who we are through the ones we have loved and love. It is the warmth of loving and being loved which defines and becomes us forever. Eleanor Dashevsky was a beloved mother, grandmother and poet.

Each of us has a name, given to us by God, and given to us by our father and mother. Each of us has a name, given to us by our stature and our way of smiling, and given to us by our clothes. Each of us has a name, given to us by the mountains, and given to us by our walls. Each of us has a name, given to us by the planets, and given to us by our neighbors. Each of us has a name, given to us by our sins, and given to us by our

Age has been on my mind all my life. When I was a kid I had a giant shock of black hair that was like a helmet because it was stiff with a product called ‘Slickum’. To comb it, I had to dip my head in the sink and wash my hair every day. That’s the first time I can remember thinking, “What if this is the secret to a long life? Dipping your head in the sink every morning. How do we know?” Since then there have been hundreds of other odd activities – eating a Tootsie Roll just

For everything there is a season. A time for everything under Heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die. A time to grow, and a time to be small. A time to sow seeds, and a time to taste their fruit. A time to hurt, and a time to be well. A time to give comfort, and a time to grieve. A time to share, and a time to receive. A time to love, and a time to be loved. A time to study, and a time to take root. A time to work, and a time

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many

I wanted to see the sunrise in hope of awakening my spirit. I forced myself out of bed in anticipation of the dawning light, but there was only darkness. Eventually the clouds in the sky took on form; puffs of gray and charcoal and shapes of billow. But they offered me little comfort; I rose to see the sun. I wanted to see the bright colors, reaching, climbing, flying up to the top of the sky. But not this morning. And then it happened. The clouds began to dance across the heavens; subdued colors, nuanced shapes, layers of softness. And

Vintage television: Ricky Ricardo comes home and finds Lucy searching the living room floor. When he asks what she is doing, she replies, “I lost my earring in the bed room” “What are you doing looking for it out here?” he asks. Lucy says, “Because the light is better out here.” For me, the scene is proof positive that a single moment can be amusing, discouraging, and educational all at the same time. How so? If you can overlook the uncomfortable portrayal of women as illogical nitwits and the fact that the show, produced by a man of color WHO

My son brought home a drawing of our family: his sister, two brothers and an Abba with silly grins. Then, I noticed myself. A person with a wide-open mouth. “Why am I the only one with my mouth open?” He answered, “Because you’re the one who’s always yelling.” My heart sank. I might be the disciplinarian but I don’t want to be known as the “yeller” in the family. My daughter offered an ultimate challenge. Whichever parent “yelled” the least would get a prize. And I wanted to win. When bedtime ran late, I calmly asked everyone to head towards

Five years have passed since the deaths of my in-laws and we still feel their absence every day. It was in their memory that I came up with the idea for 30 Days: A Journey of Love, Loss and Healing. As grief washed over us again and again, the essence of their lives and life lessons became more and more clear. Grief – you don’t get it until you’re in it, and when you’re in it, there are days you can’t imagine ever being out of it. In planning this year’s 15th edition of Jewels of Elul, it occurred to