Jewels 2010

Al Ta’azvenu B’et Ziknah Adonai, do not leave us in our old age. When I turned 50, I went for a walk on the Santa Monica beach. As I watched the endless waves roll in, I reflected on the fact that nothing more serious than having my tonsils removed had occurred in my first blessed 50 years. I said to myself, “You know Shelly, that everyone gets their share of pain and suffering in life, so I guess yours is yet to come. I hope and pray that you will have the fortitude and presence of mind not only to

My daughter Katie and I were trying to navigate our way to a restaurant located one state over. The phone’s GPS had given out and we were lost (typical when I’m driving). I then decided to let my instincts guide me (a very foolish choice) and, to me and my daughter’s endless surprise, somehow found a stunningly direct route to the restaurant. Katie remarked, “In what lifetime could you ever have found this on your own?” My 19-year-old son Jonah had died only a month earlier. This was actually one of his favorite restaurants. Katie and I had decided to

The first time I heard God’s call was at my Bat Mitzvah. I chanted my Haftorah, read the prayers, and spoke in front of the entire congregation.  When I finished, I noticed that there was not a single dry eye in the synagogue. What made my simcha different from others? I did not feel different. Certainly I was as nervous as anyone else following the many months of preparation for this day. But for those watching me, I was different. I was born into the graceful world of silence. And, while I may not fully hear the sounds of music

From an early age, my creative passions have been equally divided between the sciences and the arts. In childhood, I built rockets and remote control devices and had a small laboratory attached to my bedroom. I also wrote poetry and short stories. My friends divided into two categories: the rational, deliberate types, and the intuitive, spontaneous types. Friends, teachers, and family told me that I had to go in one direction or the other. I could be a scientist, or a writer, but not both. I decided to concentrate on science. I got a Ph.D. in theoretical physics and established

I have been blessed with a diverse career, from pulpits in Florida to Jewish agencies in Detroit, to the national Jewish public affairs scene and, now, development. With each new opportunity I made cherished friends, worked with treasured colleagues, picked up new skills, and grew a little more. While many of these changes were by choice, some were thrust upon me by circumstances beyond my control. Twice, jobs that I loved ended due to a failing economy. Once I took a new position to be closer to my ailing mother, only to have her pass away on the very day

In November, I am getting drafted into the Israel Defense Forces. By then I will be 22 years old, with a degree from a prestigious university. But, I’m putting all of this on hold to do what I feel I am obligated to do. I wasn’t born in Israel; my parents aren’t Israeli; I didn’t even visit Israel until I was 16 years old. But during my time in Israel, including living and studying in Jerusalem for my third year of university, I realized why Israel allows all Jews to become citizens under the right of return. Israel truly is

On the first day of the month of Kislev, I prayed Shacharit, as usual, wearing my talith at the Kotel, together with my friends from Women of the Wall (WOW). But this time, the prayer ended differently. I was aggressively arrested and a criminal file opened under my name. Israeli law claims that the punishment for a Jewish female, who prays at the Kotel while fulfilling a mitzvah from the Torah – (wearing a talith, putting on teffilin, reading from the Torah) is six months in jail. Besides the severe discrimination among males and females, this ruling has strengthened the

How does one begin again from rape?  It had always been my greatest fear, but then again, it is an instinctive fear for all women.  It crosses all boundaries – race, culture, class, and geography. I was on location on a film when an angry young man stalked me. I woke up with him on top of me. He said, “If you make a sound, I will blow your brains out.”  He beat me, threatened me, and even had a knife. It went on for hours.  He wanted to kill me.  Luckily years of therapy helped me talk him out

Robert Bly once wrote that failure is a necessary part of the life of any man, and over many years – and many failures – I’ve come to see that he was right. Failure is freeing, failure is bracing. Failure makes you alive. I now understand, in fact, that my life and career have followed a distinct pattern: Success. Complacency. Failure. Struggle. Breakthrough. Success. It started in film school, when I landed my first TV writing job — and wrote the script in a haze of self-congratulation — only to find that the producers hated it. Failure number one. I

In my late thirties my vision deteriorated; by 40 I was blind.  I picked up a paintbrush and my life changed. Just a slice of my philosophy:  there’s no problem so big you can’t give your way out of it.  My needs are met. So, if I can barely see, I just don’t need the level of detail in my world most folks need (I do, however, carry a tube of hand sanitizer because we blind folk touch a lot of gross stuff.)  My challenge, as a sentient being, is to understand the gifts I have to share, despite my limitation.

In May, 1969 when I was a senior at the University of Wisconsin, I was incarcerated in a psychiatric hospital. The Vietnam War was raging and Madison, WI was an epicenter of anti-war furor.  Fear of being drafted into a war I didn’t believe in, combined with old personal issues and a steady diet of psychedelics, sent me barreling over the edge. One day, while confined to the maximum-security ward, I peered out a small bathroom window through a dense security screen. As I looked out towards the leafy manicured grounds, I made a vow that someday I would rejoin

My parents never encouraged me to make my dream come true of being a rock star. Instead, they did everything they could to discourage me by saying, “ It’s a tough business, don’t get involved.” Little did they know, this “advice” became the fuel I needed to propel my 14-year-old rebellious self into pursuing my dreams. Years later, as a full-time independent artist, I’ve come to realize that my parents may have been correct. The music industry is tough. However, I’ve learned a more important lesson – life is tough. You never know where the obstacle course will lead you

The thought has always occurred to me what I might do given the opportunity to start anew, wipe the slate clean so to speak. The truth of the matter is, I can’t wipe the slate clean. What’s done is done. But, I can have a new beginning. It took me many years to realize that we can restart at any time. Accept the past for what it was and do our best not to repeat it. For me, that meant changing the things I did and also the way I acted towards my fellow human beings. Looking at life from

“Starting over means forgetting all the “Nos”. I live in L.A. and work in what is commonly referred to as Hollywood. We get a lot of “Nos” in Hollywood. For example, I got a “No thanks” from an agency the other day. I got a “Not sure” from participants in a documentary I am working on, after I had already sold it to a network. I even got a “No” from Steven Spielberg when I tried to tell him about a movie we should be doing together. Well, he didn’t actually say “No,” but rather, “Sure, at some point I

My 16-year-old sister, Samira, had been complaining of a migraine headache for about a week. I was 12. When the doctors finally figured out it was actually a viral encephalitis, she was already in a coma. Three weeks later, and after trials with experimental medication, she finally came around but had lost the memory of her entire childhood. She didn’t know who she was or who we were as her family. On that day, I lost my sister, but was given a new one. Here she was with a chance to start again and I was right there with her.

A rendition of Psalms 150 “Halleluyah” graced the eardrums of the seats filled with smiling faces and victors. I faintly smiled and was whisked away by nostalgia, as the lull of the soft melody danced within my being. The moment had come where the splendor of this melody’s tune met the triumph and completion of a seven-year journey. As the song played on, I was reminded of its meaning to me. It had taught me that praise and thanksgiving outweighs defeat and despair. Darkness cannot help but yield to light when the choice is made to live in an atmosphere

Throughout the Bible, God asks our prophetic ancestors: “Where are you?” “Hineni,” they answer: “Here I am.” The question is not a geographic one, but an existential one. Not just “Who are you?” but “What are you?” Or even: “Are you?” “Where are you?” my wife Abby asked me, eight centimeters into our son Aviv’s birth, as I fell to the ground in utter bewilderment. “Here I am,” I tried to say before I blacked out. Ten minutes later, an icebag on my head, I collected myself so I could be present for the last hour of the birth. Despite

My safta wanted great grandchildren more than anything. In fact, when I was in my early twenties she sat me down and told me that the world was changing and that I no longer had to have a husband to give her great-grandchildren, that today I could have them on my own and find the right man to marry later. At the time I laughed, but now I understand the wisdom she held, and know that she is so proud of us. I have always known that I was meant to be a mother and while I thought I would

Contrary to the popular belief, Rosh Hashanah does not commemorate the creation of the world. Rather, it commemorates the sixth day of creation, the day Adam was created. It is of interest that in the creation of man, G-d said, “Let us create man?” Whose participation was G-d seeking? The Baal Shem Tov explained that both animals and angels were created in a state of completion. Angels do not grow at all, and although animals do grow, they do not voluntarily change themselves. The transformation of a caterpillar to a butterfly or a tadpole to a frog is programmed in

No matter how many fights I have under my belt, each and every fight is a new challenge and a new beginning. Before each fight, I go through the same fears and emotions in the dressing room. What if I lose? What if I didn’t train hard enough? Why do I have to go through this again? 12 rounds, 3 minutes each round. I try to conquer my opponent and myself. Round after round I hope that I move forward, closer to my goal. Victory it is! I realize that G-d blessed me again with success and inner strength. Win

It was February 7, 1984, and I was pacing the office of the Chief Sefardi Rabbi in Jerusalem. I was so overwhelmed with emotions that I was at the point of tears; I felt like my dream of Aliyah was turning into a nightmare. I had come with my family six months before, after having labored towards the establishment of Efrat for 8 years. We had managed to happily settle 65 families in their homes. So what was my problem? From the initial moment of my involvement in Efrat, my heart was set on becoming its Rav. The Rabbinical Secretary

Writing sermons brings a myriad of emotions for me: fear, excitement, nervousness, and anticipation.  Will I inspire, challenge, comfort, educate, or transform those listening?  Will I reach one person with my message? The rabbi and congregation are in a relationship, a dance, between what one needs to hear and what I feel called to say.  I draw inspiration from my favorite piece of Jewish liturgy, “ha’m’chadesh b’tuvo b’chol yom tamid ma’aseh bereshit,”  “In goodness, God renews the works of creation each and every day.”  I love these words which I pray every morning because they remind me that each day,

In labor with child number two, my body was pulsating, gripped at irregular intervals by fierce contractions. I felt like a food processor operated by an unsupervised toddler. I was also seized by a paradox-the comfort and anxiety of “here we go again.” This time, however, I had a new source of pain. I was preoccupied with an existential question: Would I ever love this child the way I love my firstborn? Unconvinced by everything I had read and everyone I had spoken with over the last trimester, I decided to call my mother. Acknowledging the irony-I’d spent most of

It seems I was born without the gene that makes a person afraid to try new things.  I only know about this gene because I’m often asked, “Weren’t you afraid when you started (fill in the blank)?”  The honest answer is always, “No, I wasn’t.”  This isn’t because I am fearless, it’s merely because it never occurred to me to be afraid. I simply asked myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” During my life, I have launched many initiatives, and I can tell you: Beginnings are best.  They are moments of shining opportunity and exciting challenge.  They are ventures

“The smoothest path is full of stones.” Yiddish Proverb One day my daughter, Noa, who has physical disabilities, asked me if she could have a rock climbing party for her twelfth birthday. I froze. I’d always been so careful to protect Noa from disappointment. I’d gone to great lengths to create parties where she wouldn’t get left out or feel that her friends surpassed her. I said, “No, I don’t think it’s a good idea.” “But why?” she pressed me. “It’s too expensive,” I said. But day after day Noa kept pushing for the rock climbing party. Eventually I gave

I’ll never forget the rat infestation in my apartment on 25th Street in New York City. I was 25 years old at the time, working as a production assistant for $100 a day wherever I could. The building next door was under construction, and ripping up the ground dug up all the rats that came with it. Suddenly they were everywhere. I’ll never forget the day we spent wearing breathing masks and rubber gloves, scrubbing our apartment from head to toe, tossing the rotting carcasses into a trash bag. At one point I looked at my brother and said “I’m

It’s hard to believe that G-d hasn’t been watching out for me when I’ve had so many obstacles with drugs, rejection and people not believing in me. It’s been a long and continuous road. But it’s hard to just chalk it all up to myself. I have to believe there’s something greater than myself. Lady Gaga, an American recording artist has sold over 15 million albums and over 40 million singles worldwide. www.ladygaga.com

A woman spoke with me after her double mastectomy. She couldn’t accept her body. We sought a new metaphor. Your chest is a sacred altar, and your breasts, the paschal lambs. “I look at myself now,” she later said, “and feel that I am sacred.” I believe to begin again one has to search for a new, personal metaphor. Start slow. What is comparable to the skin you wear every day? To what would you liken its color and landscape? Is it sand, vanilla wafer, maple syrup, wheat, parchment? Are you a mysterious, flaking scroll? Are age spots floating lily

The world is a little too full of “can’t” — and there’s not enough “why not?” What’s more frustrating than to be told a problem isn’t solvable or a goal unattainable? My law school professors rewarded me for spotting issues and problems – but why not for coming up with solutions? A good friend of mine pitched dozens of companies fifteen years ago with the design of a slim machine on which you could read books without paper.  They laughed. Trying and failing is no excuse for not trying again.  Coming up with reasons not to take chances, passing the