Back in the 90’s, most of the shows that were on the air had white people in them. Most of the crews were primarily white. Most of the writers as well. Friends was one of those shows.
Fast forward 25 years or so to George Floyd and Black Lives Matter. I was, not so gently, forced to face the ways I had internalized systemic racism, my show being a symptom of my ignorance. I look back at Friends and see the lack of black and brown faces both on screen and off. How could I not have noticed that even our extras didn’t represent the population of New York?
I always felt I was an ally in the fight for equality, but I’ve learned that’s not enough. It’s not enough to say “I am not a racist” because what we have to say is, “I am an anti-racist”. The question is how to become one. I’ve discovered it takes a lot of soul searching and a willingness to be brutally honest with oneself.
The extraordinary people who push me to face my uncomfortable truths by calling them out or by giving me a safe space to learn how to do better have mighty broad shoulders.
All of us who are committed to doing the hard work stand on them.
Marta Kauffman co-created “Friends” and “Grace and Frankie” among others. She just received an Honorary Doctorate from Brandeis University. @MartaFKauffman
