I learned my theology from rabbis and professors. But I learned more from my children. When my daughter was small, we had a bedtime routine. Each night I tucked her in, sang prayers, shared a hug, and attempted to sneak out of the room. In a moment, she began to scream:
“Abba! There’s an alligator under my bed! A monster in the closet! A giant spider on the ceiling!” I walked back to her room, and looked under the bed. “No alligator.” I checked the closet. “No monsters.” I surveyed the ceiling. “No spiders. “Now go to sleep. Tomorrow is coming. Everything is safe. Good night.” We did this dance for an entire year until one night I stopped and asked myself: Who is right?
Whose description of the world is factually correct? The child afraid of alligators under the bed, or the father who reassures her that tomorrow is surely coming? The child is correct. She doesn’t know the names of the alligators under the bed. We know. We grown-ups know all about the violence and evil that surrounds us. Yet we still teach our children to trust. All loving parents do this.
Even the most hard-boiled atheist whispers to the child, “Tomorrow is coming, you’re safe tonight, go to sleep.” Kids make us all believers. This is the deep spirituality of parenting.
Ed Feinstein is rabbi at Valley Beth Shalom in Encino, California. www.vbs.org
