I never knew that family was not chosen.
For all I knew, the people we ate shabbat meals with every week might as well have been my real aunts and uncles. While I am extremely lucky to have been raised in a family where an extended web of grandparents and aunts and uncles are extremely loving and supportive, the people I saw most often were not related to me, but they were definitely my family.
My parents were often busy, and while there was no substitute for my Ima and Abba, I was close with so many adults that I knew I could always get what I needed from someone. Helping with a special school project in the area of their expertise, teaching me how to dive into the pool, and shopping for shoes were all things that happened with my tantes and uncles at various points.
My parents’ deep friendships taught me that with the right people, family can be formed anywhere. I have made many friends that have become family to me and I can only hope to raise my children with such a strong sense of community that they can form a family wherever they go.
Hannah Ellenson worked for nine years at the New Israel Fund and recently started rabbinical school at Hebrew Union College. She lives in Maplewood, NJ with her wife and son. www.facebook.com/hannah.ellenson
