Question of the Day – Elul 20


If you had to divide your life into “before” and “after”, what would be your dividing experience? What happened? How did everything change after?

  • Faye

    My dividing experience would definitely be my ex-husband’s behaviors that led up to our divorce after a 33 year marriage. In 2008, the company he had worked at for 24 years was shutting down two of their manufacturing plants. He would be laid off unless he wanted to relocate out of state. Before laying him off though he needed knee surgery. He had that and i helped take care of him and didn’t realize that his laying in bed so much was really due to depression. He went from being on work disability to being laid off. And then the circus of fast decisions, unrealistic demands on me and draining of his 401K by him to meet his needs began. Not only was he depressed,but had always been a drinker and sometime prescription drug abuser when he could. But I didn’t want to see that as a problem. There really is too much to tell about the 3 years and the downhill spiral I lived. And retelling it only makes me a victim once again. He made sure I would feel I had no choice but to seek a divorce. Because he began a relationship with a woman he worked with and went to live with her. He only knew her 2 months. So that was my wake up call. I knew right away I had to learn more about Al Anon. I needed to understand what I had been doing with my life at least for most of the 30 some years. Now, I do understand much of why I chose to stay in the marriage so long. But it is very painful to realize one’s mistakes, even if you didn’t understand them while you were making them. With following the 12 steps and training I have received by attending Al Anon I now feel a sense of peace. I now work on rebuilding a new life where I keep the focus on myself and please myself first. It’s like you were lost and now that you found yourself, you have to create a new life. Sometimes it’s lonely and you just have to focus on what you are grateful for. I know my Higher Power has positive and wonderful things for me if I open myself to receive them.